External Cephalic Version or C-section?

JY just came back from her examination. Her OB told her that because the baby’s head has not dropped, and that her scheduled delivery is about 3 and half week away, we should schedule a regular C-section. Her doctor gave us the choice of either A. performing an External Cephalic Version or B. a C-section. We need to make a decision soon.

The doctor also told JY that we can always cancel the C-section if the baby’s head does drop down into position. The only thing is the C-section will be 5 days earlier than her expected delivery date, so I don’t know if that’s enough time for the baby to work her way down.

JY and I have been doing a lot of research on this topic. The ECV basically involves the doctor trying to move the baby’s head into position by applying external pressure. This will be done on the day of the delivery. The risks are numerous, including the possibility of torn placenta or umbilical cord. If that happens, an immediate C-section will need to be scheduled, which is quite dangerous for both JY and the baby.

As you can understand, both JY and I are quite anxious about the decision. We’ve been praying for the baby to get into position for delivery. We’ll need to pray for the wisdom for the right decision. We’d like to ask you to pray for JY and the baby as well, please pray for the safe and smooth delivery as well as peace of mind for JY and me.

Thank you very much.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. JY and I spent lunch with a group of friends over hotpot, we did the usual gift exchange. We got some nice Hershey’s chocolate gift, and exchange with another couple (thanks Jeff and Iris) for another kind of chocolate that JY liked. I spent Christmas eve in Church watching a wonderful performance by our church choir, while JY stayed home resting.

Since JY’s birthday’s very close to Christmas. I bought her a Christmas-cum-birthday gift. A Dell Inspiron 6000 so that she won’t take up all my computer’s time, more time for me to blog! 😉 Truth be told though, she’s been very gracious, and let me use the desktop whenever I ask.

End of the year is always a good time for reflection, and I’ve done a bit myself. Looking back, 2005 has a been a truly blessed time for JY and me. We got married late 2004, since then we’ve worked out our differences, have a schedule that both of us are comfortable with, enjoyed each other greatly, and now we have our first child scheduled for January 2005. We thank you all for praying for us, and would ask for you to keep us in your prayers.

Merry Christmas everyone!

好戏推荐:Nanny 911

不知道大家是否知道现在电视上有好几个关于抚养孩子的show。我和JY最爱看的是Nanny 911.

Nanny 911每星期一晚九点在Fox播出。Fox也有一个关于这个Show的网站

每星期的show都是同一个形式。
先放段需要帮助的一家人的录像。这些录像大多数是非常令人错愕的。我和JY总会想,真的有人这样生活的吗?
然后三个中的一个Nanny会被选中来帮助这个家庭。三个Nanny的名字,经验在网站上有介绍。他们都是英国人,因为这个show最初是在英国播出的。
接下来被选中的Nanny会花一天时间来观察这个家庭。剩下来的六天,Nanny会帮助这个家庭改善他们的生活。
最后结果大都是Happy Ending.

我喜欢这个show的原因有几个。一是对于没有孩子的人来说,这些家庭是些很好的个案,作为反面教材非常有效,使我能看到家庭可能出现的问题。二是我可以从每一个个案中学到发现问题的方法。每个家庭的问题有不同之处也有相同之处。很多时候表面上的问题有更深层的内因。三是不同Nanny解决问题的方法也有不同和相同之处。还有个原因是这些家庭个案开始都有看起来几乎不可能解决的问题,但是每次经过了节目大部分的问题都被解决了,使我有了更多面对孩子将来可能出现的问题的信心,当然祷告和求神的帮助还是我们主要的方法。
因为JY怀孕,很多人告诉我做父亲没什么窍门,就是要变做边学。其实人从别人的经验及教训学到的东西也很重要。
我想跟大家分享下到现在为止我从Nanny 911之处所学到的一些东西。

第一:孩子问题的种类。
孩子问题是最明显Nanny 911的部分。包括:打人,撒娇,耍赖,撒谎,没有责任感,做有危险的事,不尊重父母,过分依赖父母。

第二:孩子问题的内因
我学到的最重要的一点就是很多孩子的问题其实是父母的问题。而且内因的识辨需要有经验作为基础,Nanny 911的Nanny都是有很多经验,所以能很快认清内因。内因包括:
打人,撒娇:不会互相沟通(很多时候是父母也不会沟通,孩子跟着学)
撒谎:对父母的惧怕(有的家长体罚)
没有责任感,做有危险的事,不尊重父母,:父母的赏罚不分明
过分依赖父母:父母溺爱

第三:孩子问题的解决方法
总的来说孩子问题的解决方法是要对症下药。对于我所看到的来说,先是要订家庭规章。规章包括:学会沟通,赏罚分明,爱的外在表现。再就是设立赏罚制度。奖励一般是有一个全家都能看到的板子,做对事就加一块,积攒到一定数量就可以换奖品。惩罚一般是Timeout,让孩子可以自己思想做错的是,但事先要告诉他到底做错什么。培养父母和孩子之间的沟通也是一门重要功课。不会沟通的孩子只会用暴力,撒娇耍赖得到想要的,而不是通过沟通来使父母了解。还有就是要详细的日程表,只对于孩子尤其重要,他们对生活中的秩序的要求,例如何时睡觉,何时上学,何时起床,何时吃饭,何时午睡等等,是很明显的。而且制定作息时间,并且遵守,对父母的生活影响更大。对于父母不足的地方,Nanny大多数时间会私下和他们讨论,这样他们不会在孩子面前丧失威信。父母的言行,尤其是行为,对孩子的影响很大。父母之间不互相尊重的家庭,孩子之间也不会互相尊重,而且孩子不会尊重父母。

我在大学学过一些儿童心理学。最近又在看一些这方面的书。但是理论与实践需要相结合,Nanny 911提供了一个验证我所学的理论的机会。

我想很多父母会不知不觉的用自己父母教育自己的方法带孩子。但是儿童心理和生理学都有了长足的进展。我认为作为父母既要学到理论上的东西,又看别人孩子的个案,综合自己孩子性格及遗传因素,制定孩子的发展计划,这样对孩子的成功发展应该有益。

JY补充:
看了这个节目以后,发现其实两三岁的孩子很多时候已经有自己的想法了。家长不能一味打骂或者一味溺爱,以为他们什么都不懂。他们同样需要沟通,注意:是沟通,不是教训。要面对面,心平气和,互相之间平等的状况下进行,不要给孩子你是权威的感觉,不要让他们害怕,目的是让他们把一切都说出来。家长一定要认真听孩子的解释,不要不把他们说的不当回事,要反省分析他们的话,其实有的时候错并不在他们,而是家长自己。
双方沟通以后,家长要告诉孩子“我们爱你”,然后耐心地告诉他(们)错在什么地方,应该如何做。这样教育孩子的效果比较好。
在这个节目中,nanny经常用这个方式和孩子交谈,而且还教那些家长如何去做。

Naming my baby part 2 给宝贝起名之二

OK. It’s been awhile since we wrote our first naming the baby post.

Since they, JY and I have done quite some research, trying to find the best way to name our baby. I told JY that I remember reading from somewhere that the name one gives to the baby has a long-lasting impact on the baby’s life.

I finally found out where that information was from, it’s from the excellent book Freakonomics : A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. I will review the book very soon, so look for the review.

In the last section of the book named: Perfect Parenting, Part II; or: Would a Roshanda by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet? the author addressed the topics of how a person’s name affect how people perceive him/her. It was loosely based on profession Roland G. Fryer Jr.’s work on black and white difference on achievement. The research was based on the study of 40+ years of child birth certificate data from California. In it, the author used statistical method to find out all the best and worst (whether popular or not) names for boys and girls.

To shorten it, basically, we came up with a new set of names for you to judge. The difference between this time and last time, was JY and I spent quite some time pouring over the data in the Freakonomics book, and identified a set of desirable names based on the weighing of the attributes. We’re also now including the middle name as well. The second column uses the middle initial, and the third column listed the name without the middle-name.

Please leave your comments in the Comments section.

Lucienne Rachel Wang       Lucienne R Wang   Lucienne Wang
Sophie Clementine Wang     Sophie C Wang     Sophie Wang
Ella Lucienne Wang         Ella L Wang       Ella Wang
Lauren Alexandra Wang      Lauren A Wang     Lauren Wang
Lauren Atara Wang          Lauren A Wang     Lauren Wang
Hannah Clementine Wang     Hannah C Wang     Hannah Wang
Rachel Alexandra Wang      Rachel A Wang     Rachel Wang

Edit:
Since this post is garnering a lot of attention, here is our baby name research methodology.

  • The initial set of names are from “most popular names in 2015” section of the book mainly.
  • We then looked at the origin of the name, the meaning as well as the “Mother Year of Education” from the book. Here is the resulting matrix:

    Name

    Origin

    Meaning

    Mother Year of Education

    Alexandra

    Greek 

    protector of mankind

    14.67

    Atara

    Hebrew

    A crown

    16.00

    Ava

    German

    A bird

    14.97

    Aviva

    Hebrew

    Springtime

    16.18

    Clementine

    Latin

    Merciful

    16.23

    Ella

    Old English, old German

    Beautiful fairy

    woman, all

    15.30

    Emma

    Old German

    Universal, all embracing

    15.23

    Hannah

    Hebrew 

    grace of God 

    14.44

    Lauren

    Latin  

    laurel leaves, honour, fame, spirit

    14.58

    Lucienne

    Latin

    Light

    16.60

    Maeve

    Greek, Latin

    Goddess, a purple flower

    N/A

    Rachel

    Hebrew 

    little lamb, an ewe, one with purity 

    14.51

    Sophie

    Greek

    Wisdom

    15.45

  • We then put the first name, middle name, and the last name together, and judged them on the sound of the name, the initials, and the anagrams. We also want the origin and the meanings of the first and middle names to be in harmony
  • Finally, we went through a google search on the final candidates (first and middle names) making sure there is no one with that name that is of notoriety.

What do you guys think?

大家可以帮我们孩子选个好名字吗?

Randal is the next apprentice

Just as I predicted in an earlier blog entry, Randal is the apprentice.

I don’t think he won by coincidence either. In my mind, he is no doubt the most qualified candidate this year, if not the most qualified ever.

He exhibits many traits that contributed to his victory. First of all, he’s smart, with so many different degrees, he’s actually over-qualified for this job. Secondly, he is a natural leader. He works well with people, lead by example, and trust and respect the people he works with. Thirdly, he is very strong in organizational and communication skills. And finally, he handles emotions well. You all remember that his grandmother passed away at the beginning of the whole process, Randal actually took time-off from the show to attend her funeral service. It would be hard to recover from such tragedy, however, he was able to gather himself and performed the jobs assigned to him extremely well. I honestly don’t know if I could have handled it as well myself if it were to happen to me. People like Randal will do well regardless where they work, and I myself am learning to become such a person.

However, Randal won not just by being himself. People often make the mistake of attributing victories solely to someone’s character. Randal also worked hard, and thus had an outstanding record. I do think he made a mistake of not paying more attention to the weather forecast for the final task. However, we all make mistakes, how to deal with these mistakes is what tells good leaders from others. I think Randal handled the situation well, he made a decision to move it indoors, and committed himself and his team to make the event a success nevertheless.

Now, we come to the other finalist, Rebecca. I didn’t realize she was so young, only 23 years old. She acts in a mature and professional manner, so it’s easy to have thought her of being older. I admire her audacity of persevering through her broken ankle. She’s another example of people distinguising themselves by dealing with and overcoming adversity.

I never imagined that she would go so far. I thought she would be eliminated through the interview process, which didn’t take place this year. She was good at what her does, however, she really just started to shine toward the end, especially when she was teamed up with Randal. So her later success might be the result of her teaming with Randal, but doing regression analysis on the correlation will be impossible because the data is not there. She has a long road ahead of her, and she will be even more successful as she gains more experience.

One thing surprised me was Donald’s decision to fire both Alla and Felicia in one sitting. I thought that was a wrong decision by Donald, giving up Alla, who seems to possess all the right skills and characteristics of someone who works for Donald. However, after her comment on Rebecca on the finale, I wasn’t so sure she’s the right choice for the apprentice. There are people who see the world in binary mode, black or white, good or evil, smart or foolish etc… However, the world is much more complex than what can be described in binary bits. I think what ultimately failed Alla was her simplistic views of people and her abrasiveness, both are counter-productive in a business environment. People are not simple, they have many motivations, diverse background, values, and principles. It’s also difficult to pin the failure of any particular task to a single person (well, unless that person is Marcus, but I digress). It’s also tempting to focus entirely on someone’s negative side, even in the boardroom. I think her hammering of Felicia was perceived negatively in that boardroom, and ultimately resulted in her ousting. She’s also quite abrasive, meaning she lacks the finesse to influence without offending. It’s someone hard to do, and this is what distinguish Randal from her, he can lead without being perceived as forcing things on people.

This season is definitely better than last (third) season, on par with season 1, and maybe not as good as season 2, although I’m biased because I got hooked on season 2. This season there was no colorful characters like Omarosa or Sam. The rewards were not as nice, and the tasks were not as diverse (mostly product promotion).

I heard the Apprentice is coming to LA this year, hopefully it will remain as energetic and entertaining.

Job well done Randal, congratulations.

Purpose Driven Life article by Mallcom Gladwell

As you may already know from my previous posting that I studied The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren in my bible-study group. It was a great book, has lots of practical advice for practicing Christians.

As you may also know, I’m a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell. He was the author of The Tipping Point and Blink, two of my favorite books.

Now I just found out that Malcolm Gladwell wrote a New Yorker article about Rick Warren and his church. You can find the article on Malcolm Gladwell’s site, it’s called The Cellular Church

This articles digs deep into three main areas:

  1. Rick Warren the person and pastor
  2. The Purpose Driven Life
  3. The Saddleback Church – the cellular church

From what Gladwell has written, I gathered Rick Warren is a fascinating pastor. He leads one of the largest churches in the US, likes to give hugs, dress casually for his sermons, learned a great deal from Peter Drucker, follows and improves upon Charles Spurgeon, and sometimes borders on audacity.

The extraordinary success of the Purpose Driven Life is not coincidental. It’s Rick’s conviction, his ingenious way of marketing it to the other churches through his prior-established relationships, and the way the book is designed to be studies in small groups. It’s both surprising and inevitable that the books has sold 23 million copies. The new story of how Ashlee Smith was able to convince Nicols – a convict to let her go after sharing the Purpose Driven Life with him was also mentioned in the article.

The Saddleback church today has twenty thousand members and occupies a campus of 120 acres. That is a huge church, compared to my church, which has around 300 people with couple of acres of land. The amazing size and growth of the church was the main focus of the article. The idea of having small tightly-knit cells as an unit has been done elsewhere. Rick Warren actually made it work better through his unique blend of pragmatism and understanding of management principles. He actually rented the Anaheim Agnel’s baseball stadium to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Saddleback church.

There are a lot more information in the article, mainly from academics trying to put what Rick Warren has accomplished into perspective. There are some sections that in my mind are not dubious intention, such as section 5, I did not see the relevance of Christian Smith’s study to Warren’s success.

Anyway, this article definitely makes an informative reading, especially for someone who has studied The Purpose-Driven Life, or someone who wants to know how to grow their cell group or church.

Please share your opinion under the Comments section.

女儿的第二次B超

我家妞妞终于又做了一次B超。
主要是上次体检医生说她偏小,想知道她究竟啥时候才会出来。一开始我和妞妞爸爸都吓坏了,以为她会出问题,一直在担心。所以我们今天一早8点就到了医院(可怜妞妞爸爸还感冒着),等了一个多小时后终于进了B超房。

今天操作的是个男医生,他用很大的力气把探头在我肚子上移来移去,把我肚子弄得很难受,我们可怜的妞妞被挤得在我肚子里乱动,翻来覆去,真让人心疼。

妞妞个儿真小啊,到现在为止(已经进入第九个月了),才四磅10盎司。可是我从怀孕到现在已经增重超过30磅了,估计都长到自己身上去了。:(
医生还告诉我们妞妞已经长出了头发,呵呵,就像我刚刚出生的时候浑身通红,一头浓密的黑发,我爸爸吓了一跳,以为是哪知小猴子。不知道妞妞出生的时候会不会吓她爸爸一跳啊!

最后医生记录了一些数据,说要去报告一下,然后再通知我们有没有其他问题。我们等了一会儿,他出来告诉我们可以走了。看来妞妞到目前为止一切都好,就是小了点。我和妞妞爸爸都放心了很多。

下面这段是老公写的:
今天看到的妞妞比上次大了许多。不过由于医生探头动得很快,没能看清楚。医生检查了妞妞的心跳,量了她的脑袋和四肢的尺寸,和一些其他的数据。这家医院的效率挺低的,我们挂号久等了40分钟。
感谢主孩子没事,我想JY的医生会告诉我们孩子偏小怎么办。
请大家继续为我们祷告。

美食推荐:Hayward的上海小吃

两个星期前,JY和我看报时同时看到一个广告。内容是本来在Oakland的上海小吃在Hayward和Milpitas开了分店。并且分店也是同一个老板经营。
Hayward分店地址:600 West Harder Road, Hayward, CA 94544.电话:510-264-5888。

由来:
我和JY非常喜欢Oakland的上海小吃,可是因为距离关系,加上停车困难,所以去的机会不多。Oakland的上海小吃的小笼包是湾区最好的,每次我们去都会买些回来慢慢在家品尝。他们的凉菜做的也不错,而且价格合理,服务也蛮好的(特别是如果你会说上海话)。既然在家附近也开了一间,我们当然要去尝尝了。

初次:
两个星期前,我们在Hayward的上海小吃吃了顿中饭。有几点值得一提,一是他们没有Oakland那家的凉菜摆在台子上,有点失望。估计是刚开张,没有机会提供。比起Oakland那家,这家可算得上是窗明几净。我们去的时候,只有两个客人。我们要了一个熏鱼,一个酱鸭面,一盘马兰头。熏鱼味道淡淡的,爽口而不腻。马兰头切得比我们在上海吃的大一些,味道更浓。酱鸭面的酱鸭和面是分开上的,这样不会串味,不错。面汤也不腻,很鲜。我们临走时还买了一包小笼包,准备回家慢慢享用,还没来得及吃。

服务:
我觉得这里的服务要比Oakland那家好,服务生更加周到,态度也好,不过也可能是我们去的几次客人不是很多。要提醒的是,如果叫外卖,最好提前半小时。不知道是不是因为他们新开张,我第一次叫外卖三个菜花了他们四十分钟。

价格:
我觉得他们的价格很合理。几乎与Oakland那家一样。他们有一份内容非常丰富的家常小炒菜单,三个菜十五元(外卖同价),物超所值。只是小炒菜单上才的分量不是很多,但是我觉得刚刚好。上海菜的特点就是精致,量多反而有点不伦不类。
 
地点:
我觉得他们的地点的选择不是很好。其实它离880很近。下了880上92(Jackson) 往东走第一个红绿灯右转上Santa Clara,第二个红绿灯右转上W Harder Road.餐馆在路左边约一百米处。它的停车场不大,好在旁边地方宽阔,可在路边随便停。可惜它附近没有其他中国店,加上离Cal State East Bay有些距离,建立一个稳定的顾客群可能不容易。

下面这段是JY的评论:
我们去baby shower之前在那里随便买了三个菜(一共才15元):虾仁炒蛋,上海小炒皇,毛豆雪菜百叶,带到朋友家。 非常受欢迎,尤其是毛豆雪菜百叶,我刚吃了几口,还想再去拿一些,已经被大家分光了。 毛豆雪菜是上海人的家常菜,他们做的雪菜有点接近上海的风味:很鲜,不觉得酸。虾仁炒蛋我也没多吃,因为也是很早就被分掉了。 上海小炒皇是类似炒面类的,如果在平时,我见到那样的菜都会反感,感觉是迎合老美口味的那种chao mein, 可是我一尝,发现和那些chao mein完全两回事,就像小时候爸爸妈妈常常带我去吃的“正宗”的上海炒面,而且里面还荤素有致。

去了以后别忘了和我们分享你们的感想。

总体评分: 8/10

Cheap auto insurance for CA resident

You probably remember that I had couple of accidents last year.

The first one was right before my wedding, in October, I was making a left turn on an one-lane street just as a big SUV behind me decided to over-take me from the left. I ended up with a big repair bill. The driver actually lied when she told her insurance company what happened, and because this was a secluded road and the police refused to come (because if no one is injured in an accident, the Hayward CHP will not show up), the arbitration process couldn’t determine fault. I’m still steaming from it. The second accident happened right after Christmas in 2004, on my way home from work one day, someone rear-ended my car. This time, the Castro Valley CHP came, and it was determined on the spot that the other driver was at fault, and the responsible party’s insurer paid my repair bill.

Anyway, my current auto insurance company, Kemper Direct, got acquired by another company, and they bumped up my rate more than 35%. I was also totally disappointed in the way they handled my accidents and claims, I felt that they didn’t care much for their customers, and the whole claim/arbitration process dragged on and on, it was time to look somewhere else. In the meantime, my wife’s insurer, Liberty Mutual, just increased her premium as well.

I was forced to look around for another auto insurance company for both of our cars.

After weeks of searching, I finally found an auto-insurer online that met my needs exactly.

The company is called Wawanesa Insurance, it mainly focuses on good drivers in California and Oregon. It’s been writing auto insurances in California since 1975, they also have an A+ rating with AM Best. There was also a lot of good things people said about the company, you can read these reviews on Epinion.

I heard about it from someone on Fatwallet, and did some research, and asked for a quote. When I got my application in my mail, I was stunned, their quote is 40% less than what I’m paying for right now. Someone from Wawanesa then called me to clarify some issues with my two accidents, and I got them resolved. I then mentioned that my wife has her own car, and wanted to know if they can add my wife to my policy as well as the car under her name.

The lady on the phone told me yes, and get this, the quote for both cars, with both my wife and me covered, the total is 20% less than what I’m paying my car right now. We saved over 60% on auto-insurance by going with Wawanesa. I strongly suggest you check them out. BTW, they have no referral program, so I’m just telling sharing this with you so you can enjoy the same savings.

Here are the pros and cons from the view of a new Wawanesa customer.
Pros
1. Cheap
2. Good reputation
3. Being selective thus can maintain low premium.

Cons
1. In the US, only available in California, Nevada and Oregon.
2. Paper-based application although the online quoting process does pre-fill some fields in the paper application.
3. CSR has no email access, everyone will be by phone.

To me, the pros far out-weighs the cons.

Hopefully you can save some money with Wawanesa as well.