Now that I’ve been a dad for almost 7 months, it’s time for some reflection.
Having a child has been a true learning experience for me. The most difficult part for me was to find out way to connect to my child emotionally when verbal communication is so insufficient.
From the books I’ve read, Lauren as of now does not understand the meaning of the words I say, only the tones I use when saying them. Imaging talking to someone who has no idea what you are saying, and can only infer from the tune of your voice the meaning and intent of the conversation.
The lack in amount of information exchanged between Lauren and me does not mean the quality is any less. Some of my favorite moments occurred where no words are necessary.
I remember early on in Lauren’s life, one of my favorite things to do is to put her to bed. I usually swaddle her with a large blanket and rock her until she’s asleep before putting her on her bed. I can feel her body relax then her breathing becomes rhythmic. It was such a peaceful moment. Lately, I’ve also enjoyed watching her when she’s asleep. She truly sleeps like an angel. Her whole body is relaxed, and she sometimes has a faint smile on her face. I hope she can sense that I’ll protect her with all I have, and that she’ll always find a safe harbor at home that’s giving her that peacefulness later in life.
Another favorite moment was when she was about 5 months old, I was bottle feeding her, and she just stared into my eyes and held my gaze for what seemed like a long time. It’s the first time I thought I made an emotional connection with her, as she understood that I’m the one who she can count on, and that I love her unconditionally.
Yet another favorite moment happened recently, I just came home, and Lauren was playing. The moment she saw me, a big grin broke out on her face, and the room seemed to be lit up. It’s a moment of pure joy for me. She seems to be smiling a lot nowadays, and it seemed to brighten the day of whomever she meets.
I thank God daily for moments like these. Where I gain so much taking care of Lauren. I’m looking forward to more kinds of “moments” as she grows.
